My diagnosis: PDD-nos and ADHD. Have had bouts of anxiousness since I was very young. 24 and European.
Last summer I fell in love with an American girl while she was touring Europe. We met two more times during summer constraints permitting, and I went to visit her last winter. We're both in uni, and apart from winter and summer breaks none of our free time periods seem to line up. Basically, we can only see each other two times a year. She has low self-image issues and behaviourisms that hint at Borderline. She's never been diagnosed and I prefer not to delve into it. I am not a psychologist for a very good reason! However, I love this girl very much in part because I recognize some of her in me. I've never really felt much emotional attachment to anyone, which makes me superlatively afraid to lose her as my girlfriend. I want to be there for her when she's feeling bad, and I can cope well with the abuse she throws at me when she does. My hyperactivity subsides when I'm with her. I miss her and after over eight months I still think of her pretty much all day.
So now we're in a extremely long distance relationship. I am finding it increasingly difficult to cope with not being there. We had a bit of an argument because over the past few weeks she was logging on less and less for me. She was stable though, and seemed to just have less of a need for me. Tonight she confessed she'd been cuddling with one of her friends who I know fancies her and regularly massages her because it calms her down, though she stressed - it's been going on for a while and was not sexual at all. And I believe her. I don't like hearing about her doing things with other guys because I feel inadequate. Beaten. Number two. Possibly not even in the top three any more. It happens too with things I like to imagine that I could be doing with her. I know that I often seem very jealous or overbearing to her, and that I should not worry so much. But I begged her to stop. We talked and things seem better now. Time will tell.
So my first focus: How do I cope with a long distance relation as an autist? Secondly: How can I keep her interested in me? I feel like I just cannot compete with someone who can be physically there for her. Thirdly, somewhat discomforting: Am I overly jealous?
Source: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt228166.html
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